In the middle of a rock & hard

Kicking a habit is easy, all you need is motivation. But, with the detox comes a cocktail of emotions. With this post, I’m going to share with you readers, where I am at.

The love that every often seems a grasp away, is yet a grasp away. And, with some weird luck, I’m passing off as a non-anxiety ridden person. No thanks to drugs and all hail ‘el musica’. For its been quite some time, that I’ve quit the ‘anxiety pills’. If I’m right, it did more harm than good.

But, one look at the mirror, I’m happy. Tired truly from the work, ready to hit the hay. A lesson learned, from the loss of a gig. A high profile gig, turned sour. Thanks to many, especially that one girl who is all cute and smiley – but when it comes to work she is a tortoise, in a rat race.

How did I mess up?

To be frank, I fucked up the opportunity. Wasn’t prepared to handle the workload. And, all thanks to her no one to guide or coach me through. Damn you gal!!!

It’s just making me Hulky!

I made wrong choices, one of which was self-delusion and medication. Upping the dosage reversed the reaction. Anxiety returned like a monster, in the pretence of a self-confident  – walking tall bloke.

If it were no more regrets

They say, regrets don’t matter. But, let me break it open when I’m sober. Rushing up, without proper gear and army – doomed to die be it Cap America or Bruce the Lee. And, who was I?

One strong one weak?

Speaking in the local language, and occupied in the rat race – I have become distant with English. No time to read, the half finished Paulo Coelho still staring me silly! I take a look at my words, are they mine? Is this my style? Has it been corrupted from other formats. In the name of SEO, traction and other BS?

Nothing more to complain, there I’ve written more than 300 words, that’s ought to satisfy the bots. Damn scrawlers spoiling my ramblings. Nazis ruining my thought flow with rules.

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Mindfulness is Happiness

My previous post, which was in truth a spur of the moment Facebook wordage. I was just rubbing off of a friends post on humanity and its future. 

I try, time and again to inculcate to my dear readers – the power of now. 

Often times we’re lost in non-thought. I was the opposite, used to sit where I can and be lost light years from my body. 

Also, was I a victim to rash and unmindful behaviour. It was anxiety, mind fog & brain farts – joining hands like the avengers against my consciousness, as if it was the justice league. 

With a lot of help from family and a few friends I’m a little less depressed. Waiting to carpediem. 

But, our society and its not so kind advocates aren’t that forgetful, when it comes to a common man. The fight of a common man is almost against his fellow common men as it is against the system. As they are almost synonymous. We are not part of society, we are society says Jiddu Krishnamurti.